A humorous sketch speculating on what might have happened if Gabriel had thought he knew better than God…
God has asked Gabriel to visit Mary and deliver the news that she will be the mother of the Messiah. Gabriel thinks that a better choice could be made and approaches two very different young women before deciding that God is right and Mary is the best choice after all. The same person can play all three women if a different head-covering is worn for each: a glamorous scarf for Mayden, something more business-like for Sylvie, and the traditional blue or white shawl for Mary. However, the actress would have to be able to portray three distinct characters, so if such an actress is not available, you will need three women. Gabriel needs a list or scroll (of course, his words could be on this!).
Gabriel (looking at his scroll)
I don't believe this! The time has come for the Messiah to be born into the world and God wants an unknown teenager from Nazareth to be his mother! Her name's Mary – she's quiet, obedient, innocent and very sweet, according to God – but surely the Messiah will need someone a bit more worldly wise to bring him up? I mean, this woman has to be someone special! She's going to be an icon – revered throughout history! This good little girl will never make her mark, lovely as she is. In many ways, she's just too good. I've never disobeyed God before, but with something as big as this I'm going to follow my own gut instincts. Must fly!
Enter Mayden Chelsea and Sylvie Stinkrich.
Gabriel
Mayden Chelsea! Peace be with you! The Lord is with you! Do not be afraid! You will give birth to a son.
Mayden Chelsea
Who, moi? Oh, I don't think so. You're an angel to think of me, but…
Gabriel
Mayden Chelsea, you are famous; you are good looking; you like kids. You are perfect for this job!
Mayden Chelsea
Oh no, darling! I don't want my own just yet. Babies do ruin one's figure, and they're sick all the time, even over one's best designer clothes. One just couldn't have a social life any more… Oh no, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here! (Exits dramatically.)
Gabriel
Oh well, so I was wrong! But I've got a list here … (looks at scroll) . This one might fit the bill – somebody not so flighty. Here we go, on a wing and a prayer!
Enter Sylvie Stinkrich.
Gabriel
Sylvie Stinkrich, Business Woman of the Year! Peace be with you! Do not be afraid.
Sylvie Stinkrich
Hold it right there! How did you get into my office?
Gabriel
Behold, I am the angel of the Lord, and you will give birth to his Son, and you will name him…
Sylvie Stinkrich
Listen here, you with the wings and the halo, if this is some sort of publicity stunt for Fathers for Justice…
Gabriel
No, listen to me! Oh dear, this isn't how it's supposed to be! Sylvie Stinkrich, you will be the mother of…
Sylvie Stinkrich
Now look here, you've wasted enough of my time! I have a meeting in twenty-two seconds precisely. Having a baby is definitely not on my schedule! I'm calling security. Security! (Exits shouting.)
Gabriel
Boy, that was a close call – nearly got caught by the halo! My ideas just aren't working. Maybe God's right after all. Maybe a low profile mother and an ordinary family life is what Jesus needs. OK, I give in. I'll visit Mary.
Enter Mary.
Gabriel
Mary, peace be with you! Do not be afraid! I am the angel of the Lord!
Mary
I can see that – the wings kind of give it away! But what do you want with me? I'm just a girl from Nazareth.
Gabriel
Exactly! Mary, you don't want to be a famous celebrity or anything, do you?
Mary
Don't be daft! Nobody from Nazareth ever gets famous!
Gabriel
Well, you never know – oh, and Mary, you don't have any ambitions to be a great career woman, do you?
Mary
No, not me. Actually, I'm engaged to be married, and I'm looking forward to starting a family.
Gabriel
No, Mary, you're perfect! God has been gracious to you. You will give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of God!
Mary
All generations will call me blessed! The Lord has done great things for me, humble though I am. My soul glorifies the Lord – holy is his name!